I give up.

...

Day 10.

Well as you can see...I've been doing great. =/ Ugh.
So much for losing more weight and for "work/life balance." Lately it's been work work work...followed by homework homework homework. Sigh................................

I TRIED to eat well by pre-packing "protein" snack bags for the entire week for all three of us.
And if/when time permits, I'll cook up lunch to bring to work. That doesnt happen much. Sometimes I'm too busy to even eat lunch. I'll have the snack bag, and get so busy that I don't even notice I've missed lunch.

Turning 31 in six days.....and STILL not happy where I am... with work... in life...physically...
The ONE thing I should be able to have control over and I can't even do this right.

There's just not enough hours in the day to do my work, homework, take care of me, and have ME time. sigh.....

Can't seem to sleep early enough to wake up early to hit the gym before work.
By the time I leave the office, I'm too exhausted to even do an hour of cardio, and I'm crunched with time in getting my postings/homework done for the evening.
Weekends....well... that's spent catching up on the papers I just don't have time to even start during the work week.

And you wonder why I choose to have a shot or two every now and then of whatever is strong enough to knock me out quick. =/

OH. BTW....I've gained 5lbs. =(

Day 2

I'm even more stuffy today. Fatigued even tho I did sleep early. Cold even tho I AM dressed warmly. Dammit.



Late breakfast:
Protien snack bag: 1 egg, 6 crackers, 1 Laughing Cow Swiss Cheese Wedge
8 cans of oj throughout the day

Got home 5:30ish
Ate a bagel with jalapeno cream cheese then cooked up a totinos pizza. Mmmm....

So not on the right track. Sick Myra = Comfort food!!!

Expense report.... Nyquil....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8:30am - Oatmeal and a cup of green tea

11:20am - 1 hard boiled egg,

6 ritz crackers w/1 wedge of Laughing Cow swiss cheese

32 oz G2 (forgot my water bottle - DANGIT!)

I'm really starting to feel sick (dangit Liam strikes again!!!) That child is FOREVER sick or has the damn "just sniffles." And it never fails....his "just sniffles" ALWAYS kicks my ass into a damn fever/flu. So now instead of having my grilled veggies for lunch I have....

8 cans of oj (sugar)
1 Nong Shim Kimchi Soup bowl (yay sodium)

horrible....just horrible.

Get home early. Dinner for sicky me?

Arroz Caldo.

Had a bowl of Pumpkin ice cream and a crushed sugar cone while sissy ate her dinner.
Finish up my paper. Down some Nyquil.....

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lost. Plateaud. Gained. Disappointed.

It's been months since I've been online updating my "results" AND on track with getting myself together.
Stats is over (yay!) but this class I'm in now is pissing me off because my learning team are a bunch of procrastinating, bad grammar-horrible spelling idiots.
Grrr I say.........
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..................

There has been a shift in my job as well...and I find myself working 10+ hrs a day AND occasionally logging on on the weekends.
And what for? With the recent announcement of more layoffs and knowing that there is no possiblity of converting to an FTE.... it can get depressing.
Especially on the real EMO days.

And to top things off, someone that seriously lacks social common sense and respect for the present STILL insists to make their presence known. STILL insists on making sure that past "memories" are not forgotten.

ANNOYED.
Whatever.

So I can't control stupid people.
I can't control my learning team.
I can't control my job stability.
And the one thing I WAS controlling - and pretty well too - I lost control of these last 2 months. =/

I need to be able to control SOMETHING in my life...
So starting tomorrow... back to eating better and downing that darn gallon and a half of water daily.

New goal - 15lbs in a month and a half.

I've stocked the fridge with a healthy snack and roasted veggies to last the week.
For Lent, I've given up candy, chips, fried foods, and fast food.
As for working out at the gym..... that's the hard part.

I can't wake up at 5am to work out before work because I stay up late finishing up on homework or catching up on work work.
Working out during "lunch" is a no go because, well....I rarely even take a lunch break. My day is THAT busy.
And after work, especially depending what time I actually leave the office, I'm exhausted AND I need to get home and log in to class.

Whether I eat dinner or not doesn't really matter to me, but there's other folks that might want dinner.
I'm so tired. I work too. I'm tired too. AND I have to squeeze in school and homework in my already long day. I have to selfish now, and not worry about what's for dinner.
We can all fend for ourselves.

So..... here's to taking control again in the ONLY thing I can have control over.
Daily food log to begin tomorrow!

KEEP ME ON TRACK =)